November Blog Lydia’s Story - The Lady in Black

Life Matters International was conducting a one week medical mission training midwives in prenatal point-of-care ultrasound on a remote island in the Philippines. To practice examinations, free ultrasound exams were offered to pregnant women. A grandmother heard of that opportunity. She wanted it done for her pregnant granddaughter named Lydia, who was constantly wearing black clothes. So, the grandmother took her to the place where the training was conducted. Lydia herself was reluctant to undergo the exam, but after some discussion with midwife Elena and the ultrasound trainer Christine, Lydia agreed under the condition that there would be no other trainees present. It was decided to do the exam during lunch break.

The exam revealed a healthy appearing fetus approximately 7 months of age inside Lydia’s womb. During the exam, Lydia was very quiet. When asked if she wanted to see the fetus. She simply said “no”. During the entire exam, she kept her face turned away from the screen, which happened to be positioned close to her head. She was asked if she wanted to know if it was a boy or girl. Again, Lydia just said simply: “no”. Finally, Elena asked her if she would like to hear the heartbeat. Again, she declined. After the exam a conversation ensued between Lydia, her midwife Elena and Christine. This was the moment when Lydia opened up.

7 months ago, she and her girlfriend had gone to visit another island for the weekend. At some point, Lydia had to go to a public bathroom on a beach there. After locking the door from the inside, all of a sudden, a man rammed the door open and raped her in front of her girlfriend, who was waiting outside. 

Weeks later, she realized she might be pregnant. A test confirmed. To her, it was clear she was not going to keep this baby. She had already decided to terminate the pregnancy, if necessary by herself (abortions are illegal in the Philippines, so some desperate women try to get rid of the baby using chemicals or clothes hangers to mechanically remove what they consider a “foreign object”). She managed to hide the pregnancy for a long time by wearing a large black hoodie sweatshirt, which she also wore at the time of the ultrasound exam. 

About a couple of months later (the LMI training team had already returned to the United States) Christine, the ultrasound trainer, received a follow up message from the local Filipino midwife Elena: Lydia had safely had the baby in the hospital, both mom and baby were healthy. Both of them were now staying with the grandmother who was helping Lydia raise the baby. 

The girlfriend also lived with her. A few days later, Christine received photos of the baby’s baptism: They showed a family with a baby, all smiles, and a very proud midwife Elena serving as the baby’s godmother. 

We don’t know if it was the ultrasound examination that changed Lydia’s mind, or whether it was the conversation thereafter with the sonographer and the midwife or a combination of the above. We do know, Lydia did change her mind. She did have the baby. She even made sure to have a safe delivery in the hospital for the best chance of survival. And as a bonus: At the same time she developed a friendly connection to her midwife, deep enough to ask her to serve as the godmother to her baby. 

The baby was born on a Sunday.

(The names of the involved persons were changed to protect their identity)